Affected by a person living in sin, in addiction, in sexual sin
Hey, you, yeah you, please comment at the end, I need feedback on this…
Some of the most common issues I have had to deal with in the past are rather extra-ordinary. I have heard these, not from the person struggling, but from the people who they go to. All together, I thank God for exposing to me the extent of hurt that sin, more specifically sexual sin causes to those around us. For example;
- a wife/girlfriend of an man who confesses sexual sin,
- a friend or a girlfriend of a guy/girl who turns up to be a homosexual,
- a guy who finds out that the wife/girlfriend is a addicted to sex.
- a parent who identified a child with a weird sexual habit e.g. touching another girls/boys parts or masturbating
- a parent/guardian/teacher who catches a child practicing voyeurism (fetish of seeing people naked)
- a spouse to a partner who is confess/ caught committing adultery/fornication
How can someone deal with such? In the bible the book of John 8:1-10, Jesus was presented with such an individual; pharisees who caught an adulterous woman in the act. They tried to trick him to confess that she deserves punishment according to the Mosaic law in the old testament. However, Jesus, our Lord and saviour who gave us grace, told them that if any of them has never sinned let him/her stone the lady. To our shock, most of them left one by one with the oldest going first.
What a powerful way of demonstrating that in God’s eyes all of us are sinners. It doesn’t matter whether it is a lie, a sexual lustful thought or sexual sin (all are sins), God’s love and grace, as shown to the adulterous woman, is enough to forgive us. As human beings, we magnify some sins above others based on our carnal minds forgetting that God’s standard of holiness is apart from us and can only be attained through Jesus Christ’ righteousness at the cross. God’s hates the sin not the sinner, he loves you and wants you to repent (confess and turn away from sin).
From my short experience in dealing with sexual sinners, I have learnt several things;
- Never condemn the person who sins. Separate the person from the sin and walk with that person to the realization of who he/she is in Christ.
- Come down to that individuals level and understand what lead to them acting the way they did. May be they were exposed to the behavior by someone else and didn’t know any better when it happened
- Learn what God standard is and leave the example, by what you watch, listen to, speak, read, stand for. Impart that same standard through the word to the person gently.
- Help the person come up with an action plan by themselves and help them get accountability. If you can walk with the person through it. Ownership of accountability is on both partners, not one.
- Pray for the person and yourself for wisdom.
I praise God that someone, Pastor Chris Gatihi, took time to walk with me and impart the word of God, God’s standard in my heart where I have hidden it to stay pure.
9 How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.