Diary of a recovering addict
It is so unfortunate when one is on the journey of life, he has to be burdened with so much baggage. Baggage from past broken relationships, baggage from wounds inflicted by others, baggage from sins committed or hidden sins within. http://skitguys.com/videos/embed/551/
This is how I feel every time I fall to sin, whether lying, greed, pride, lust, boasting etc. Why is the heart so deceitful? Why is the mind so prone to lying to my spirit?
“I can do this alone” it says to the heart, “Since God has sorted me out so many times, I now can do this on my own”. This is a reality to me. I have found my heart being deceitful to my spirit and the battle within me as a man has gotten more intense lately. I am going through a course called Man Enough, by Transform Kenya. A course that has defined the base of what a man should be and what God wants me to be. Through it all, I realized that all men struggle; either with women, money, power and success, or an addiction. I will not lie to you, mine are addictions, power and success. Each man needs to know what their weaknesses are to finish well.
The Holy Spirit searches me, and knows my heart of all the deceitful ways. All the mess and junk that the ways of my flesh hide in my heart. The crap that I have to think and do against God’s word. My spirit is so willing to change, to obey, to live for God. I am encouraged that Paul in Romans 7 went through this phase and triumphed over the enemy. God created me to worship Him, to be broken before Him, to give my baggage to Him and love like He loves me. What can I do? How can I change the desires of my sinful nature? How can I remain pure? Psalms 119:9 says “…by hiding the word of God in my heart”
The holy spirit can test me and know my anxious thoughts. (Psalms 139) He can lead me to channel all my flesh (sin) led anxiety to God my father through Christ Jesus. God is able to do, just what He said He would do. So, I find hope in this time, as I am a sinner saved by God’s grace, that someday, I will dine with God in heaven.
And for you, the same God that knows my jumbled thoughts, accepts me with my sinful nature, strengthens me to keep fighting, loves me even when I deserve his wrath, can accept you as you are.
The Holy Spirit takes all the thoughts that make God sad, lets say a guy who is sinful, He takes his story and if you repent makes them HISTORY.